hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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