i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
