i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
