We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
