Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
