Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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