Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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