I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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