Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
