Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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