Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
