Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
