That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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