420 ftw
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
