I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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