Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
