Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
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Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.