I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!