My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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