It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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