my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
