she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
