im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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