she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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