She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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