she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He passed out mid-signature
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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