We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
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They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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