i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
