dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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