My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
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He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
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I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen