Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
