Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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