His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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