Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
