jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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