two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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