I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
