Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i permit you to call me
She said her name was "party"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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