I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
how drunk are you?
Several
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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