Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
