The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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