I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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