I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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