3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
