i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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