I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
