Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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