My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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