piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
