I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage