Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt