You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha