writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
