how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize