dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
