i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
