All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
