I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
